The Amityville Horror | An ECD Review

Heather @ Stacks & Shelves and I have a book club, and our March/April book was The Amityville Horror by Jay Anson.  We're super smart, and we used random.org to pick a book using our compared to-read shelves on Goodreads.  I have a lifelong goal of finding a book that really and truly scares me.  I thought this was going to be it.  It wasn't - and I am sure it is due to the writing style. Since this book is marketed as a true story, the author is basically just writing short sentences with the "facts" of what took place.  Very matter of fact.  It's basically a journal article without sources. 

The shocking true story of an American dream that turned into a nightmare beyond imagining...

In December 1975, the Lutz family moved into their new home on suburban Long Island. George and Kathleen Lutz knew that one year earlier, Ronald DeFeo had murdered his parents, brothers, and sisters in the house, but the property - complete with boathouse and swimming pool - and the price had been too good to pass up. Twenty-eight days later, the entire Lutz family fled in terror...

This is the spellbinding, bestselling true story that gripped the nation - the story of a house possessed by spirits, haunted by psychic phenomena too terrible to describe.

Upon moving in, the family notices strange temperature changes (George can't get warm despite the oil burner working and thermostat reading 80) and weird happenstances of windows and doors banging open and not being able to be closed right away. Also flies swarming a window of the mother's sewing room.  All very biblical. The front door actually comes off its hinges. One mildly scary aspect was the youngest daughter, Missy, having an "imaginary friend" named Jodie - who is a pig.  Children saying creepy things always scares the bejeebus out of me.

Alongside the story of the Lutzes, Anson describes the troubles of Father Mancuso, the Lutzes' priest from their hometown.  Mancuso blessed the house on the day the Lutzes moved in, and has been shaken up ever since.  He gets blisters on his hands (which are never addressed as stigmata, but...I thought it was pretty clear), gets the "flu" for several days (three times), the smell of human excrement permeates his apartment at the rectory (which he helpfully points out is the "sign of the devil!"), and each of these instances happens after he speaks with, offers advice to, or visits the Lutzes.  Mancuso's observation is that whatever is in the Lutzes' house, it's punishing him for helping the Lutzes drive "it" away.

I actually thought the brief look into the priest's reactions (and physical manifestations of his reactions - or of the spirit, if you feel that's what it is) and dealings with the diocese in terms of how to proceed (professionally) was way more interesting that the goings on inside the house with the Lutzes.  Nothing that went on in the house was super scary.  Sure it was weird as hell, but certainly not "too terrible to describe" as the description suggests.  Besides - it was barely described at all.

I gave this book 2/5 stars on Goodreads because, while I was not scared and did not like the writing style, it was still fairly interesting to read the alleged recount of the goings on in the home.  Though, I wouldn't actually recommend this book to anyone. I'm going to watch the movie to see how that adapts the story. 

Steamy Sunday - A Monthly ECD Meme

It's time for Steamy Sunday: M/M Edition. Steamy Sunday is basically an (new) excuse for me to read a bunch of smutty books and then complain about how awful the free ones were.  Also my attempt to get into a more regular posting schedule.  This week I was all over the hundreds of just barely mediocre free m/m romances they have in the Kindle Store.

Uh, this contains spoilers for all books but...really I'm just saving you the trouble.  None of these have a star rating here because frankly they're just not worth it. I DID rate the first one 2 whole stars on Goodreads but it was mainly the nekkid parts that warranted the rating.

To begin, I would like to note that the titles of a LOT of m/m romances are simply preposterous.

For example, I read His Roommate's Pleasure by Lana McGregor first.  I rolled my eyes so hard when I read the title and glanced at the cover (see left).  I mean really.  What the hell is that?  I almost didn't buy it, but it was $0.99 and almost all of the reviews used the word hot in varying degrees (including scorching - sign me up), so I figured why not. In case you're looking for a summary - it's pretty much what it says on the tin.  Adam somehow clicks on his roommate's (Josh) porn folder while trying to submit a paper. A pretty steamy series of exploratory sexytimes ensues (there are paddles and restraints involved. FYI) and then of course they fall in love (which, for a while, I didn't think was going to happen).  There is very little plot, but what little there is comes together (NO pun intended, please, I'm better than that) in the end.  Good times all around.

I also read Cuddle Buddy by Nate Tanner which, despite my hope of all hopes, contains no (actual) sex (with or without feelings).  I feel misled because: "This category-shattering 10,000-word m/m romance contains brief adult content and is not suitable for those under 18."  I mean I guess it does say brief but STILL.  And I think we all know that nothing about those 10k words is "category-shattering" - if only because there's NO SEX.  It's literally about two guys who become cuddle buddies.  They cuddle together like 3 times a week - in addition to having their jobs, girlfriends, and other hobbies.  An...interesting, if disappointing, read.

Let's not forget about the wholly embarrassing and thankfully short read of Freshman Orientation by Brandon Reed.  Just read the description - and, sweet Lord, what is that book cover?? - it's pretty much self-explanatory.  Boy meets boy (after rather creepily stalking the entire incoming freshman class for potential young hook-ups), boy overcomes increasingly outrageous obstacles (including but not limited to scary raccoons threatening them after a romp in the courtyard) to get in other boy's pants, and 50 pages later they fall in love and live HEA.

It's Finally Friday and I Finished That Awful Book

All right, all right.  I missed my window for posting on last Friday so now it's a week later and I've been through 3 legit books plus 5 free crappy books that I got during my Kindle Book Buying Binge. Weekly posting is GONNA happen - just you wait.

I finished Against the Wall by Julie Prestater.  It was the worst.  It only got 1 star because, while the story was super cute (how could it NOT be - the ingredients were all there), the writing was just...outrageously sub-par.  There had to have been a breakdown in communication during the editing process because the typos were so abundant.  Also, some the phrasing was difficult to over look (see: "girl parts" and "man parts" - who talks like that?  Really?).  The protagonist, Shel, got her HEA I mean obviously, how could she not.  Actually, everyone in that story wins - even the loser ex-fiance. But it was just terrible. 1 star.

Moving on to last weekend - I finished (finally) The Selection by Kiera Cass (The Selection #1) on audio book.  I had been putting it off because I knew that nothing would get resolved in this weird love triangle until the last book in the trilogy - which isn't even out yet.  (In case you're not familiar, it's basically The Bachelor only with a king in a dystopian future - kind of.) Well, I got what I wished for I guess because I'm still super annoyed at almost every single character, and I know it doesn't get better in the second book, The Elite. The third book, The One, will be released on May 6th of this year. Let me tell you it better be effing worth it. 3 stars.

Next, I read Epic Fail by Claire LaZebnik - a quick YA book about (my weakness) a famous guy - Derek Edwards - falling in love with a non-famous girl.  Well, he's the son of two famous actors and he attends the same boarding school as the protagonist, Elise (whose mother and father are the principal and math teach at the school, respectively) and her 2 sisters. And, now that I'm thinking about it, all of the antagonists were very interesting characters.  And I like that there was more than one causing all the drama.  They each had their time to shine to muck things up for both Elise AND her sister Juliana (who was spending her time being adored by Derek's best friend). All in all a cute story - no complaints, but it wasn't stellar - which was pretty much what I expected. 3 stars.

Next up: a few (free) romancey novellas of the man-on-man variety. Stay tuned...